I Got Jokes - All The Single Mamas

Mom stand-up routine part three - Amusing musings is for all the single mamas out there.

Being a single mom is not easy. There is literally no time to put into much of anything relationship-wise. And, trying to meet people feels even more impossible. Online dating is confusing and let’s just call a thing, a thing - Fakey McFakester. The pictures, the descriptors - all seem so carefully curated it’s unbelievable that these folks aren’t already snatched up!

I’m old enough to still feel like online dating is something you need to be vaguely secretive about. On the other hand, I’m also old enough to know you have to be “real” if there is any shot for anything good in a relationship to happen. So, I’m not sure how me to be in my little descriptive bio. It seems like all of the different questionnaires (no matter how simple or elaborate) are designed to get at four key areas.

1. Personality - Are you normal? Of average intelligence? Can you hold a conversation?
2. Money - Do you have a job? Is it a good job?
3. Desire - What do you look for in another person?
4. Relationship potential - What is your marital status? Do you have kids? Are you looking for a serious relationship?

But, I have a dilemma. I’m a weird person. And, I’m also honest about my weirdness.

So, when these dating sites are asking me all these questions, I feel compelled to say it like it is.

Here’s an example of my first pass at the standard questionnaire…

1. Personality - I’m a stable genius. How you interpret that will tell me all I need to know:)
2. Money - I’m more sugar mama than arm candy.
3. Desire - I think your looks are the least interesting thing about you. But, I am offended by skinny jeans, beards that are long enough to be brushed, and too much body spray. Please don’t.
4. Relationship potential - Divorced. Two kids. Three dogs. Full-time job. I have 4 maybe 5 days a month to devote to this relationship:)

My question to anyone and no one, in particular - Will I get equally honest/weird but closet cool people responding? Or, am I more likely to attract the Fortnight playing, jobless, dwelling in their parent’s basement element?